Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
