glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize