Where did you get a picture of my penis
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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