someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
