It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Dear god my vagina.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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