? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
