Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
