The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
