So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
she looked like the before picture.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
