a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
