I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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