cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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