i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
