I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
