CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
