I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
