i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
