Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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