Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
