I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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