i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
