Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
