I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
