Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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