We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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