youre lurking in front of me
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize