OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
