I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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