Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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