I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
