yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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