So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
