I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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