The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
