Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
accomplished twins. life is a go
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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