i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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