I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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