You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
