If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
