Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
