I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
