i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
