i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
