Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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