Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
