i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I think i got beer on your cat.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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