dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize