Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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