Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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