I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
