THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
