There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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