This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
