3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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