I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
