Me too!
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
