ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize