dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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