the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
