we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
