At least make sure they are 18
Why
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
third nipple confirmed
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
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