The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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