I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
he thought i was a dude.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
3 2 1 whiskey
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
