hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
