she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
